I wondered why God does not yet answer my prayers. I was questioning His silence. A conviction to ask the fellow believers with me weighed on me. I was hesitant to share my struggles with my sisters in Christ I thought I would be a burden to them and I did want that. My pride and hate held me back, and God does not want a proud and hateful child. He wants us to be loving, humble, and dependent on Him. He knows how far we can endure.
When she could not take it any longer, my mother asked and insisted we bring her to a doctor for a check-up since over-the-counter medicines were not helping her to ease her suffering. We went to different doctors, but it was already late in the afternoon, and it seemed like no one was willing to take in a patient who have symptoms similar to my mother suffered with. We were frustrated and filled with uncertainties. A hospital has only the capacity to entertain patients with CoVid symptoms.
My mother was swabbed test and we waited a few minutes for the result outside the hospital. We were not allowed to enter and we also did not want to. We were feeling agitated and my hate towards my sister grew bigger. I was browsing my social media account just to have a little diversion from the predicament we were all facing when I came across one of my sister's shared posts on one of her social media accounts about something funny. I was furious that she did not even care that's why I reacted with an angry emoticon on her posts. I knew it was childish but I had to vent out my disappointment towards her. But I retracted the angry emoticon later on when I surrendered the anger and disappointment.
The result was negative. Praise God! I thanked and prayed to Him. She was also advised to be x-rayed and the film showed that she had phlegms in her lungs which was still alarming. The doctor prescribed her some medicines for her fever and dry cough.
On the second day of taking her medicine, my mother was dissatisfied with the effect of the medicines. She still had difficulty with her coughing and felt like she could not breathe properly. She borrowed a nebulizer from her sister who was also my aunt and thanks to God, my very own sister assisted our mother in operating the nebulizer.
But my mother was far from being okay after the check-up and taking all those medicines. She did not feel any better. I was sad and hope seemed to be losing my grip. I held on to the promises of God.
During one of our DGroup meetings and of the days of the online True Life Retreat 2021, I had the opportunity to tell my predicament in a conversation/Bible study with fellow believers. They were compassionate and very willing to pray with me as my family went through health problems at the time of the pandemic. I was humbled and grateful for God's answer when He said 'yes to all of our prayers.
To be continued...
Look! There is a monkey suspended in the air holding on the bridge. Was I looking at myself? Of course, I was not. I am a human being and I am sure of that. More so, I beg to disagree with the theory of Charles Darwin.
I also questioned the meaning behind the name of one of the activities we did when we hiked Mt. Manalmon and Mt. Gola. I was curious. I thought maybe there were a lot of monkeys in the area before because we did not see a single monkey in the mountains. But not until we arrived at the jump-off of the Monkey Bridge. We saw a monkey on mental chains. I guess it was a pet and displayed there to justify the name of the suspended bridge made out of two paralleled thick metal wire rope.
For safety, a harness supported each brave soul to cross the Monkey Bridge. As I began crossing the bridge, everything felt shaky. I could not control my strength as I held on to the thick metal wire rope. I kept on making the same mistake of lifting up my feet one at a time and landing them on the wire rope beneath my feet at the beginning of my journey towards the other end of the Monkey Bridge.
It was shaky, I felt it and also attested by my friend who was next to me. I tended to look at the river below us, but it was not helping me achieve my goal so I decided to focus my eyes on the finish line. I was rushing to get on to the other end, yet our tour guide shouted at me and reminded me that I should not rush and stop what I had been doing wrong with my feet. I was taught to slide on the thick metal wire rope, instead of taking a step. It was easier when I slid, and I got to look at the river from time to time and the hanging bridge opposite of the Monkey Bridge.
I was flooded by a breath of relief after reaching the end of the bridge. Inwardly, I congratulated myself and gave her a pat on the back for braving the bridge. I was happy for all of us for reaching the other end of the Monkey Bridge. We also did not miss the chance to get into the river this time. The water was quite decent and clear. We dipped our bodies and cautiously enjoyed the little time we had with the river.
We all face different struggles and challenges in life. I pray that we all get through them and come out victorious through Christ who strengthens us. Sometimes, we are crippled by fear and that is normal, what is not is that we are forever stuck in that same filthy pit we choose to be in because of fear. We are more than conquerors, we are already victorious because God has already gone before us on the battlefield. Conquer your fear! You are not a monkey, you are a human being created in the image of the Most High God! Live a victorious life all for His glory.
Photos credit to Arra A.
During the orientation, we were warned that the path towards Mt. Gola was steep, they even called it 'assault'. I was quite expectant of how steep it could be. We were given numbers in degrees but it just slipped my mind.
From Mt. Manalmon, we went down and began our journey to our next stop. I was sweating and breathing hard from the length of our trek. Every step we made was calculated and we tried our best to be mindful of our surroundings the best we could despite the tiredness that was falling upon us.
There were two little stores we stopped by before we continued on our walk. We rested for a while and had bathroom breaks. We did not miss the chance to try the all-natural buko juice from the heart of the mountain. It felt like our strength was renewed after a short rest and a sip of buko juice.
The best part for me was not the peak of Mt. Gols, it was the river we passed through that captivated me. The tiver was so clear and felt cold on our feet, which was exactly what we needed at those moments because of the sun's relenting strikes on our body. It was shallow and the current was not really that strong. I desired to bath on that part of the river, but it appeared to me that it was not part of the itinerary we signed up for. We moved on our trek and I decided to move on as well with that desire, but I still could not forget that portion of the river.
After we had been to so many slopes going up to the peak of Mt. Gola, my feet and knees were aching a bit, and I had this urge to get on the top of Mt. Gola as soon as possible to relieve my agony and exhaustion. I wanted it done, finished. Yet, I was well aware that reaching the peak was not that easy, so I had no choice but to continue my journey and never let my frustration get the best of me. I switched from fast to slow pacing and from slow to fast pacing. I was trying my best to enjoy and be thankful for what I have in those moments: my life, nature, my friends who were with me during that hike, my family who were safe at home, all of God's provisions and promises, and of course the greatest gift of all, God, Himself.
Life is not an easy hike. We get to face more assaults than we expect to. We may get tired and think we had enough of life. And sometimes we have these selfish thoughts: God does not care about me anymore. He wants to make me suffer. He does not want me to be happy. And I tell you that is very wrong, sometimes we make our own problem and assault the life God has given us to enjoy. I had my fair share of wrong decisions I made in my life, some were influenced by the people who hurt me. I want to break the cycle and make the most out of the life that God has given me. Be freed from the judgment of the so-called human race. I don't want to be assaulted by anyone or even by myself. I will not run away, instead, I will fly and never let others assault my spirit again, all by God's grace. Others may try to break me because I don't conform to their standards, but I pray that God will always let me fly high. Up, up in the sky.
To be continued...
Photos credit to Arra A. & Erist C.
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