My third book from The Deluxe Collection of Paulo Coelho's books is The Zahir. The term in the book title is quite new to me. Zahir is something that is not used in an everyday conversation and I wonder what meaning lies behind the word. At the beginning of the book, it was defined what the title meant. So you better get a copy of this book and see for yourself. 

I had high expectations with this book since it was a predecessor of Veronika decides to die, and it did not fail me after reading The Alchemist. To be honest I did not like the other philosophical views mentioned in the novel, specifically the ideas of marriage and sex. The narrator of the story felt like he was so casual in taking another woman in his life when he was not even sure if his wife was alive, kidnapped, or left him for good because he was such a scumbag. He had no idea of the reason behind the disappearance of his wife and he willingly accepted a new woman to bed with him. Other people would think this is something normal, but not for me. Other people would believe that being open-minded with that kind of relationship was a sign of maturity, but again, not for me. And the same goes with the missing wife, Esther, she wasn't even different from her husband. She was missing for two years and at the end of the story, I realized she was just the same as her husband. It was like they had an open marriage with those years they were apart, and I do not approve of practicing such.  

Paulo Coelho himself appeared in my mind as the narrator of The Zahir whenever I read the story. I could not shake off the idea that it was him. That's just how I imagined the protagonist and it stayed like that until I finished the book. It took me a long time to finish the book since it was thicker than the previous two books I read from the same author. I concluded reading the book in a week probably with rests in between. 

I almost put down the book because I was not fond of ideas the narrator was persistently showing me, but I did not let go of the book. I was entranced by the whole journey of finding the missing wife. The mystery behind the lost and found journey of the narrator was a stronghold for me to never read the book unfinished. The narrator brought me with him every step of the way in discovering everything behind the story of his missing wife. It felt like I was with him investigating and exploring the different possibilities in life as we delved into the energy of love. I felt him, all his struggles and confusions just to find and maybe get back his wife.

This kind of love story is never my cup of tea, nevertheless, I enjoy the story, and if time and circumstance permit me I will not hesitate to read the book all over again and relive the excitement and experiences with the narrator.

This book isn't about dying even though Veronika decided to die.

Veronika decides to die is my second book from the works of Paulo Coelho from the box set The Deluxe Collection. The title is intriguing and relevant. I didn't hesitate to read it after the out of this world experience with the book The Alchemist.

I like Veronika. She is brave. People of society will call her eccentric, weird, or strange. She was mad for taking her own life. She was tired of the sameness she experienced every day in her life. At the age of 24, she felt like she already at the end of whatever. She had enough of her life on earth. 

What's the purpose of life if you feel like you had enough bullshit of people around you? All the pretensions and prejudice of this wicked world is something worth to be thrown and burned in hell. This world is crazy. And as if life isn't as crazy as is the author, Paulo Coelho, offers us an eccentric, spiritual, mystical view of who is the real mad man in this world full of pretensions and greed for temporal things this doomed world offers.

Vitriol is a significant term in the story of Veronika decides to die. Dr. Igor connoted the term 'vitriol' as bitterness in layman's term. He believes that this is the cause of depression and other mental health. And his unsolicited experiment with Veronika proved that the cure to this entity called vitriol is the awareness of death or awareness of life. It means that if a person is aware of the feeling or truest existence of death or life, a person with depression or other mental health will have a better chance of overcoming and defeating such a dilemma.   

Simply, bitterness begone. Let's be crazy and mad enough to live life to the fullest. Do not conform to the ways of this world. Do not submit to the wicked ways of this temporal reality. Be transformed and live your life according to His will!

Romans 12:2 says "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." 

I continued attending the Sunday service. Aside from the usual Sunday worship service, there were other Church activities during weekdays. Other activities were announced during the Sunday service, we were encouraged to attend our respective group designation. There was a group for women, youth, and also prayer meetings during Fridays. I once attended a prayer meeting. I didn't have the slightest idea of what would happen, but one thing I was sure of, we were going to pray, and that was because it was called a prayer meeting. Wasn't it obvious?

I attended a prayer meeting. I was nervous. I arrived on time thinking that I didn't want to have any conversation with other people. I just wanted to reserve my seat and listen or pray or whatever I must do during the meeting. I didn't intend to meet and greet others, it was never easy for me to do that. It always felt like all hell break loose in my mind when I met strangers.

The prayer meeting started late. While I was waiting, there were only three of us, and a woman whom I knew during my childhood days and tried her best to engage me in a conversation. Mostly, she was the one who did the talking. She tried to show me thru her stories how blessed she was, how wonderful her family was. I listened to her patiently while I tried to put on the appropriate expression on my face on everything that she said.

I arrived at 7:30 in the evening, but the prayer meeting started at 8 or 8:30 the most. There was a lecture about a story from the New Testament. I remember something about Bethpage from the discussion of the Bishop, I am not even sure. At the end of the lecture, we prayed by a partner and some solo. I was with a partner and I was nervous, as always. She was kind enough to pray for me, and I didn't pray for her. Why? Because I didn't know how to or more like I was afraid that others would hear my prayer and discover how ugly the way I pray. After she prayed for me, I told her I would go home though I knew that the prayer meeting had not yet reached its conclusion. Others were still praying, but I was determined to leave. I felt insecure. That was the first and last time I attended the prayer meeting.

After that incident in the prayer meeting, I still continue attending the church. There were times that I missed the Sunday service because of my graduate studies. I listened to the message every Sunday and felt blessed every day. I knew I was on the right track. God wanted me to be where I was during those times.

During those times when I felt satisfied with my faith in and relationship with Him, there was a friend of mine who kept on insisting that I attend their D-group. Discipleship group or D-group is like a Bible study meeting. I rejected him a few times but eventually gave in because he was so persistent. I also started to seek more. More of Him.

It was a couples' D-group. A group composed of less and not more than ten, they were welcoming and accommodating, but I felt a little out of place since I was the only single in the group. I learned a lot from the discussion and looked forward to attending a D-group. I attended twice if I remember correctly. But eventually, I stopped attending the D-group session. I was not comfortable that I was the only single in the group. 

Few months had passed and that same friend of mine nagged me about attending just one service of the church he and his wife was attending to. Again, he kept on bugging me, but this time I didn't give in. I was busy with my graduate studies and already attending a church why I would bother going to other churches.

One day, at the end of my last semester in my graduate studies and that, was November 2019, I just decided to grant my friend's request, I attended one service on a Sunday morning. After listening to a live-stream service from the main church, I was blessed. I was convicted. Since then, everything was never the same. I was never the same. 

While I was getting acquainted with my new local church, adoration and praises would not cease coming out of my mind and heart. They just overflowed. I was able to compile them in a book that I just recently released on my birthday this year. I feel blessed. God never left me. In my trying times, He was there with me, always. He provided kind human beings to support and understand me. I am forever thankful and grateful. I am saved. I am redeemed. 

And good news! I belong now to an all-girls D-group for singles.

This is the book I mentioned. 

Click the photo if you want a copy.

~the end~