I am nothing but grateful to the Lord for all that I am. Yet there is that one thing that has been bugging me even though I surrendered it all to Him. I gave up already even on the idea of having it or experiencing it. But it keeps coming back, the desire to have it, the desire to experience it. I avoid to be greedy just to have it, to possess, and experience it to the fullest.
Or maybe I need to be greedy?
I always ask God and he never answers me with a 'no', it has always been wait, wait, and wait. I do not want to sound impatient, but when is it my Lord, until when I am going to wait.
Shameless as I can be, there are times I feel like I really do not need it, I really do not like it yet there are also few times I yearn for it that I even talk to God and question Him of His time, will, and ways. How shameless I am!
There are things in life that can be a two edged sword from the human perspective. What meant to be good for you can hurt you sometimes and what you thought is good for you may cause you pain that lasts longer than it is meant to stay.
Dwelling on such thing that needs to undergo season of waiting until it is fully riped can definitely bring anxious and ungrateful thoughts. And those kind of thoughts are the last thing I want in my life right now.
The act of gratitude can save us from a lot of pain. Just being grateful even for the little things in life can help us overcome anxious thoughts. This may not come in an instant. It takes time, practice, and change of lifestyle, but we will surely get there if we have faith.
And when I was burdened with worries, you comforted me and made me feel secure.
Oh Lord, guard my heart and mind.
Protect me from my own devices.
Give me a grateful heart every single day of my life.
Amen.
Work matters so are you. Life is work. The work itself is work. I am not just talking about the 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. work time or whatever required duration of time your company or employer wants to see on the log. It is more than an employee-employer contract work kind of thing.
Work is a gift from God. It is a blessing. When I was a student, I used to look at work as a resource which is really the entirety of its value in the human economy. Once I have work I can buy, I can do what I want.
Then, I graduated from a state university with a degree, they say it is a ticket to a better job and good life. I got hired and the salary was getting us by. I was grateful I had that job but I kept on searching for a stable job where I could get a better paycheck.
Three years after graduating from college, I did get a stable job with a decent paycheck. I was happy for myself and my family. I dream of the best life for my parents and sister. I want the best for them, and for myself, life has to offer.
During my first few years in my stable job with a decent paycheck, the dream job started to be a burden. At some point, I felt ungrateful. The work became a cross I had to carry like it was some sort of punishment, and I did not like what I felt about my work. The joy of doing it got lost along the way. The passion and dreams I once had for my work were nowhere to be found during the first five years in my job.
The purpose of the job was a source of money so we could buy our basic needs. A resource to get us by in our everyday needs. I was able to get what I wanted, oh yes I did. After getting my wants, I was happy, but it was only temporary. It never lasted and my wants were never satisfied.
We were just surviving and we were barely living.
I wanted to find the joy and spark in my work. I did not want to go on doing what I did feeling it was a burden I completely wanted to put off my shoulder. I wanted to carry the burden with joy and hope that even though things got hard everything would be alright at the end of the day. I sought that joy and spark in my work.
There was something lacking in my work, that was why I was not satisfied or seeing the value of my work. Do you have any guesses as to where I found it?
I found it in God. Cliche as it sounds or superficial as it is, I cannot deny that reality in my life. He made my life brand new. He refreshes my soul as I get to know Him more and more. I have found not only the joy and spark but also the purpose of my life, and why I do what I do.
Ahead is not an easy road. Unpredictable things may happen along the way, and work might feel like a burden big time. I can only pray and hope for you and me that get to see the worth and value of our work through God's perspective. That our work is part of His good plan in our lives.
Work can get hard and annoying sometimes, and this book I just read entitled, Work Matters, serves as one of the many reminders, I get from God that I even brought it here in my new workplace. I would also like to remind you that more than work God cares for your first, your well-being. He wants to be purposeful, joyful, and hopeful with the work He assigns to us.
Our God-given work matters and so you are, first and foremost. Whenever you feel tired and drained from your job, come to Him and you will find rest.
It was never planned. I was sad and feeling down and just stayed at home for three (3) or four (4) days straight. I was like hibernating and contemplating at the same time about the future when my sister in Christ, Mitch, sent me a message thru Messenger. She had extra ticket for the concert, since her companion was not available due to emergency situation so she needed someone to take her place, and I immediately said yes. It was timely and purposive. God's timing is purposeful.
Watching a concert of Planetshakers has been on my list of things to do since 2018, I think. Yay that it finally materialized this year.
More than the fun and excitement throughout the concert, it was a blessing. For Christians, it might be a cliché to say that I felt blessed during and after experiencing the worship concert. My unexpected attendance in the concert was like a push or a pat on my back I badly needed at that time. Thank God I had extra budget. I was feeling uncertain of the big decision I just made in my life, that decision was a leap of faith. Until now, I am still waiting for the result of that decision and there are times I am worried and anxious even though I already have surrendered the result to the Lord, still I cannot help but be anxious sometimes.
Do I lack in faith when I worry?
I pray that God will give me faith that I need to overcome this season of my life. I pray to completely surrender everything to Him. I pray to holistically entrust to Him every aspect of my life. I pray and I pray. Sometimes, it does not make sense. I feel stuck and cannot move on. Still, I hold on to His promises, the deliverance and that this too shall pass because through Him nothing is impossible. His glory will prevail and be shown for all the earth to see. Nothing is impossible.
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
Psalm 139:13 ESV
For He knows
God already wrote His plans and purpose in our hearts and souls. In our mother's womb, He already knew us. He imprinted a blue print of His plans and purpose in our lives. He meticulously engraved every detail in our DNA. Long before we even realize it, we abide in Him as He abides in us, and it is such a liberating moment to finally carry the burdens willingly or on most occassions surrender them all to the Lord and let His amazing awesomeness be magnified and glorified.
Sometimes His plans and purpose in our lives are difficult to accept or even to comprehend. It is humane not to submit since we want control over things that relate to us. We freak out if things get out of control, and again it is humane. Surrendering is connotated as a weak word and most of us do not want to be seen as weak as if it is a taboo. We prefer to portray a strong, brave, and iridescent character. Who does not want a strong, brave, and iridescent character?
I believe that the true esscense of strength, courage, and iridescence comes from Him. The wisdom we get whenever we pray, read, and meditate His words gives us the access to genuine and gentlest form of strength, courage, and iridescence. Therefore, it is a must that we seek wisdom from Him.
Look what I found on the website of Acronym Finder, HOLY BIBLE stands for He Only Left You Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth, which really makes sense since a lot of self-help books that contain instructions on how to deal with life occupy spaces of physical and online bookstore. There is high demand on self-help books as if everyone is so clueless on how to go on with life and I cannot deny the truth in the idea that we are really, most of the time clueless if we do seek true wisdom.
That I have come to know
Along with this journey called life, sometimes or most of the time we all get to have our own dreams and plans crafted from or motivated by the fallen world we all live in. We own them like we were the source of the creation. We own them disregarding the real Creator. But the Lord always has the final say. If they are aligned to His plan and purpose there is a big chance, a miracle even, that He will redirect and repurpose our "own" plans. He has his ways, greater than ours.
I have dreams. Or should I say I had dreams? Some of them, the lesser ones I was able to realize and some of the big ones I decided to forget and not to pursue.
Perhaps for the big dreams that I considered, I did not have the courage to pursue them. Yet. Perhaps, the time was not right. Yet. I was afraid of failure. I did not want to accept that I lacked in many things: finances, talent and skills. Like it was not really for me, yet I forced it instead of actually pursuing it.
The decision to stop pursuing dreams was a bruise on my pride, and it was never an immediate acceptance. It was a long process of struggle whether I stop or put them on hold. And I did stop and put them on hold. I was hurt, pained, and humiliated by my own doings. I felt victimized of my own self-assault. I was hard on myself, unforgiving. Like if I did not get to have or be it, then there was no sense of living. I was on track of proving my worth to the world. The same world that would continue to exist without me in it.
Right now, I am just amazed by how God is putting me back on track of pursuing the old dreams and plans I have, and that I have come to know that my plans and dreams abide to His purpose. Every good thing takes time. I could only pray and seek His wisdom. Everything has its season and when it is time to let go and move on to the next season, I could only pray that I have yet give up because there are countless times that I wanted to give up. It is all thanks to God that I am here.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11 ESV
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