Her eyes were filled with water from the heavy rain drops of life's joy and pain. Overwhelmed, she tried to hold up the tears in the corners of her eyes. Wishing time would stop and save her from the rush of emotions that was about to trample her defenses. But instead of fighting back the tears, she surrendered and let the rain fall down on her cheeks, on her face.
As the tears poured out, shame and guilt were nowhere to be found. Instead, she was freed, she was at peace, she had joy.
Tears persistently trailed down on her cheeks as she stood up in front of her class. Shocked, her students asked, "Are you okay, miss? Why miss?" Concern was evident on their faces. She was too stunned to even give them a response.
"Please, give me a minute." She pleaded and turned her back from them.
Inside the room safe from the eyes of the young ones, she wept and wept as she completely surrendered to the raging time of loneliness. As if that loneliness demanded to be felt, to be released. She thought to herself now was not the right time, "Damn it!"
Yet, it was the perfect time, not according to her, but according to the One greater than anyone. "Probably, now is the time to be lonely," she thought to herself again.
A few moments passed, she returned to where the young ones were.
"Are you okay, miss?" They asked again, once she made it to where they were.
She replied, "Yes. I'm okay, maybe I just missed home."
"Aww, miss..." Some gently interjected, as they group and side hugged her.
"You okay, miss?" Some asked again.
"Yes. I just missed home." Sincerely with a smile on her face, she replied.
It was the long weekend I so looked forward to. I did not plan to be grand. Staying at home was the first thing I had in mind when I learned that there would be a long weekend in our district this October. Giddy and excited, the meaningful and purposeful days passed by in almost three weeks. I listed down in my journal the things I needed to accomplish. I started my to-do list and was successful with some of them.
Watching movies and series is one of the hobbies I get to enjoy ever since I was a child, yet that joy seems nowhere to be found now. I have been wandering and looking for a movie or series that can bring back the spark and joy in watching cinematic art.
My wandering in the land of streaming and binging brought me to Tubi, an on demand video streaming app. The shows on Tubi appeal to my interest.
The South Korean movie 'Little Forest' caught my attention and awakened the dormant joy I had whenever I watch a movie.
The female lead was a familiar sight. Cute was the first word I would describe her. Her whole demeanor was a breath of fresh air.
The changing season in a small rural area in South Korea is like bringing colors to the black and white scenery of life.
The cold winter comes with sadness whereas a blooming spring brings hues of hope to the loneliness of the little woman. The summer heat pricks the skin of ignorance from the fickle-minded little woman. The falling autumn journeys with the wind as it goes along to the course of life and suffering.
Time makes the seasons change. Time makes little dreams come true. How time works is simple, yet the most difficult to understand with just our feeble human minds, without wisdom it is impossible.
The Little Forest is me, or maybe you.
I am nothing but grateful to the Lord for all that I am. Yet there is that one thing that has been bugging me even though I surrendered it all to Him. I gave up already even on the idea of having it or experiencing it. But it keeps coming back, the desire to have it, the desire to experience it. I avoid to be greedy just to have it, to possess, and experience it to the fullest.
Or maybe I need to be greedy?
I always ask God and he never answers me with a 'no', it has always been wait, wait, and wait. I do not want to sound impatient, but when is it my Lord, until when I am going to wait.
Shameless as I can be, there are times I feel like I really do not need it, I really do not like it yet there are also few times I yearn for it that I even talk to God and question Him of His time, will, and ways. How shameless I am!
There are things in life that can be a two edged sword from the human perspective. What meant to be good for you can hurt you sometimes and what you thought is good for you may cause you pain that lasts longer than it is meant to stay.
Dwelling on such thing that needs to undergo season of waiting until it is fully riped can definitely bring anxious and ungrateful thoughts. And those kind of thoughts are the last thing I want in my life right now.
The act of gratitude can save us from a lot of pain. Just being grateful even for the little things in life can help us overcome anxious thoughts. This may not come in an instant. It takes time, practice, and change of lifestyle, but we will surely get there if we have faith.
And when I was burdened with worries, you comforted me and made me feel secure.
Oh Lord, guard my heart and mind.
Protect me from my own devices.
Give me a grateful heart every single day of my life.
Amen.
Work matters so are you. Life is work. The work itself is work. I am not just talking about the 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. work time or whatever required duration of time your company or employer wants to see on the log. It is more than an employee-employer contract work kind of thing.
Work is a gift from God. It is a blessing. When I was a student, I used to look at work as a resource which is really the entirety of its value in the human economy. Once I have work I can buy, I can do what I want.
Then, I graduated from a state university with a degree, they say it is a ticket to a better job and good life. I got hired and the salary was getting us by. I was grateful I had that job but I kept on searching for a stable job where I could get a better paycheck.
Three years after graduating from college, I did get a stable job with a decent paycheck. I was happy for myself and my family. I dream of the best life for my parents and sister. I want the best for them, and for myself, life has to offer.
During my first few years in my stable job with a decent paycheck, the dream job started to be a burden. At some point, I felt ungrateful. The work became a cross I had to carry like it was some sort of punishment, and I did not like what I felt about my work. The joy of doing it got lost along the way. The passion and dreams I once had for my work were nowhere to be found during the first five years in my job.
The purpose of the job was a source of money so we could buy our basic needs. A resource to get us by in our everyday needs. I was able to get what I wanted, oh yes I did. After getting my wants, I was happy, but it was only temporary. It never lasted and my wants were never satisfied.
We were just surviving and we were barely living.
I wanted to find the joy and spark in my work. I did not want to go on doing what I did feeling it was a burden I completely wanted to put off my shoulder. I wanted to carry the burden with joy and hope that even though things got hard everything would be alright at the end of the day. I sought that joy and spark in my work.
There was something lacking in my work, that was why I was not satisfied or seeing the value of my work. Do you have any guesses as to where I found it?
I found it in God. Cliche as it sounds or superficial as it is, I cannot deny that reality in my life. He made my life brand new. He refreshes my soul as I get to know Him more and more. I have found not only the joy and spark but also the purpose of my life, and why I do what I do.
Ahead is not an easy road. Unpredictable things may happen along the way, and work might feel like a burden big time. I can only pray and hope for you and me that get to see the worth and value of our work through God's perspective. That our work is part of His good plan in our lives.
Work can get hard and annoying sometimes, and this book I just read entitled, Work Matters, serves as one of the many reminders, I get from God that I even brought it here in my new workplace. I would also like to remind you that more than work God cares for your first, your well-being. He wants to be purposeful, joyful, and hopeful with the work He assigns to us.
Our God-given work matters and so you are, first and foremost. Whenever you feel tired and drained from your job, come to Him and you will find rest.
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