Showing posts with label story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label story. Show all posts
Bye 2022, hello 2023!
So what, then?
This cycle comes every last day of the 365 days of every year. What's new? What could be special about it? Matter of fact, I can't seem to comprehend sometimes the hype people give into this kind of tradition, and that would make me appear so weird and out of this world, am I the only one who thought of it? I do wonder.
I don't mean to minimize or cancel the effort of the people who try their best to cook mouthwatering meals and wonderful dishes, decorate their houses to vibe in the holiday trend, and put up a table with all the best food in the town. In fact, I love it and appreciate it. I want delicious food! Hehe.
Where do they get all the energy every year to consistently participate in this worldwide tradition and share it with the world for all the people to see what they have on the new year's occasion?
I feel like I'm making myself sounds bitter here. Haha. But, I truly wonder. Because I tried following the trend like taking a photo of our food on the table from the little resources we had and I attempted to post a photo of it like some of the posts we can see on our social media news feed, but I couldn't. I lack consistency in this area of my life. Why is that? Am I an odd one for thinking like that? I questioned myself with this petty or silly thought.
A Better Tomorrow
Sometimes, I wish I have the desire, energy, and of course, consistency to put up exciting posts on my social media handles, instead of my boring content about books and my musings. But I am still glad that most of the time, I am good all by God's grace. That wishful thinking only comes in a while, once in a blue moon. I guess I am the type of person who prefers boringness. Or in other words, the kind of life that isn't exciting and happy as it appears to others? And why would I care anyway? Why would you even care? HAHAHA.
Just live your life, I live mine. Simple as that!
The important thing is to live a life with a purpose. Live your purpose. Do not leave it. Live it! Do I sound like I am demanding you? No, I am not. This is just a reminder for you and me. Find your purpose and live it.
A better tomorrow is ahead of us. Another boring year is also another exciting year. I am quite excited about another boring year ahead of me. I am positive that there are a lot of surprises in store for all of us. So prepare your heart, mind, and soul. It is reassuring that God holds our future, I pray that we are all hopeful because the hope that comes from Jesus is much, much greater than the hope that this new year brings. So be hopeful, always!
Christmas is...
It's the most wonderful time of the year.
It's the season to be happy.
It also means only a week before the end of the year 2022.
And another year is about to begin. Isn't it surreal to be able to survive another life year here on earth where everything is passing and only temporary? Yes, it is, definitely.
How life has been for you?
I hope you have lived and have been alive in every moment for the past 358 days. You did a great job of making it today, and in advance, as well as in the years to come!
The year 2022 has been good for me. Well, I'm not saying it's perfect and free of concerns and challenges just like the past years which I thought were not even good. I am just glad and grateful that I am here. Having the time to do things that must be done. Though difficulties and failures are ahead of us, it is important that we move forward. To keep on moving toward the future and never look back or dwell in the past. We must forgive but never forget. We learned so much from the past and it is a great gift to live in the present and look forward to the future.
Every year has its own difficulties. Be it a problem, heartache, frustration, disappointment, failure, fear, sorrow, or even death, this passing life can never be free from any of it. They are also here to pass, thus, life is still good.
Why do I say that life is still good?
Because the Giver of life is good. He made everything good with a purpose. I wouldn't be able to say that life has been good or that life is good if it wasn't because of receiving the greatest gift ever. The peace, the love, the life, the hope, and the joy He brought to this passing world make everything seems bearable because of Him, the greatest gift ever.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Have you received the greatest gift ever?
If you haven't, then, now is the perfect time to receive the perfect gift and the greatest present ever. Don't let it pass on you. May I just remind you that accepting Him doesn't mean we already become perfect in this imperfect world, this sounds cliche but it's true. Instead, we're getting better and better because He is the great enabler we all need. Receive and you live! Unwrap the greatest gift ever!
When memories flashed before your eyes in broad daylight, it was one of the most peaceful experiences you could ever have during your stay here on earth. It was calming and mind-blowing all at the same time. And after a few more days, you realized how scary the experience was. It was surreal.That's exactly how I felt when I got involved in a road incident. After more than a week, I finally fully grasped the severity of the incident, I almost lost my life in that one wrong move in a split second. I never thought this kind of accident would ever happen in my existence. And there you go and it did happen, but I thank God, I'm still alive and kicking. I should always be reminded that I have to be extra careful always.
One philosopher said YOLO or You Only Live Once, and another contradicts the other, he coined YODO which stands for You Only Die Once. Do you YOLO or YODO?
I guess I may agree more with the latter and it is a reality that we have to face that we really die once, physically. No one in this world is exempted from death, when one's life expires, that's it, it will cease to exist. We have to be reminded that we get to live every single day. It is a chance, an opportunity to live, love, worship, be grateful, and make the most of the life that has been given to us.
For once, I thought life was fleeting and senseless to be celebrated and lived victoriously. That life was nothing. It had no purpose. I questioned the Creator who made us in this sickening world that we dwell in. Why would He make us only to experience pain and suffering? Why would he mold a sinful human being? Why would He? I was ignorant and foolish not to know the answers to these cries.
There was a time in my life when I wanted to end my existence. I no longer wanted to live. I had lost the purpose of life and was blinded by the pain other people caused me. I blamed them for the misery and losses. At one point in my life, I became a ball of negative and dark energy, like a bomb that could explode anytime and damage everything around it. I was basically self-destructing and it was affecting the people around me, especially my loved ones.
I knew I couldn't escape the ball of negative energy with my strength and power alone. The negativity held me back from the light and I needed someone who could pacify and put peace to the raging thoughts that bombarded me and wouldn't let me be. I knew I needed someone.
And that someone is Jesus. He reached out to me. He saved me. He healed me. He freed me. He became my peace and hope, the light on my feet. He brought life into me and filled it with joy.
I am far from being perfect. I still have problems to deal and challenges to overcome with. Flaws are everywhere to be pointed out in me, and there are times when I feel like I am a walking disaster at my worst.
But the good news is in life I don't have to go through with it alone. That also goes for you, yes you! You don't have to go through with it alone. You are not alone, never alone. Walk with Him and experience the abundance of joy in brokenness. You will be healed, in the mighty name of Jesus!
Live every single day of our life! Make the most of it! Love and be loved!
Ingat!
There is nothing certain in life. And in the world, we live in, the happiness you feel right now may eventually turn into sadness. Or it could be that one minute you're sad then the other you're happy. How exciting life really is! I wonder if God, who is in control of everything intended it to be that way. The roller coaster ride we get to experience in life is an invigorating adventure we must all live to the fullest.
Humbled by the knowledge of the One True God and His supreme sovereignty, I am in awe of His majestic and grand plan for those who love, obey, and put their faith in Him. Living a life that abides in Him alone is a difficult rocky road we can all trudge on only through Him and in Him.
When hope is nowhere to be found, where do you look? Who do you seek? To whom do you turn? The answer is we turn to Him, to the One True Hope we can all put our faith with confidence and certainty. To the One who is the sufficient and limitless source of the truest form of hope. Jesus. The only hope that we all need. Pain, hardships, and rejection will always be there, they are part of the so-called life we all try to pass through victoriously.
May God help us to plant hope in the weary hearts of those who thirst for peace, truth, and the perfect form of true love. Share the good news of salvation.
Always plant hope, when everything seems uncertain.
Biking-biking or banking-banking, which is which?
Biking seems to be a fun idea for those who enjoy strolling around and exercising at the same time. As well as a good alternative of transportation for those who consider themselves eco-friendly citizens of the earth, provided that there is a shower area at their destination. Biking as we all know can be sweaty, one can perspire a lot; whether, in a gloomy or hot sky, sweat will always be there.
Strolling on a bike is also an exercise, which I decided to do so since I felt breathless for the past weeks since face-to-face classes started. Going to the gym is an option but I am short on a budget, so biking is a go since I have my MTB getting stuck at home and it is much better to put it in use instead of letting it rust and turns old without putting it in good use.
Banking-banking, on the other hand, is a made-up term I heard from my friends slash workmates. It is a humorous name they use for a boyfriend and girlfriend's road trips on a motorcycle, where the guy drives and the girl hugs her boyfriend from behind in the fast lane while doing an angle drift on a wide road. That is the extent of my imagination about the banking-banking thing. For quite a while, motorcycles depict danger on my part, whenever I see them on the road, they just move too fast and always want to get ahead of the others, like it is always a race, a very dangerous race. Nevertheless, using a motorcycle is beneficial for many it is convenient and practical for some.
Biking-biking is a term I came up with to counter banking-banking. Well, biking-biking appeals more like a friendly road trip across genders and relationships. Whether you are solo, in a duo, or group, biking is satisfying and breathtaking. My panting for the past weeks, whenever I climbed stairs at school, is not that persistent anymore since I started biking again. It helps. I am trying to be consistent in biking to lessen or totally diminish my exhaustion from exertion to breathe whenever I walk or climb a short distance. So whenever I get the chance to bike I so get it!
Strolling on a wide road on a bike is a pleasant experience, a street free of other road users is a dream! An impossible one! I seldom see some lady bikers around the area I go to for biking. Where are they? Happy or sad, let's go biking-biking!
How does ML affect me so far?
For some of you who doesn't know ML, it is a popular online mobile game nowadays that is well loved and enjoyed by youngsters as well as by adults.
During the 2-year CoVid-19 pandemic, I avoided playing the game since I couldn't seem to get the ins and outs of it, so I decided to stop and uninstall the app. I thought it was a waste of memory on my phone. The bottom line is I didn't know how to play the characters that's why I stop.
Fast forward to 2022, I finally learned how to play the game even just a little. In victory and defeat!
For the past five months, I am consistently playing Mobile Legends: Bang Bang. Oh, what a waste of time, some people might say. Maybe, yes. Maybe, no. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Maybe, I am addicted to ML, probably. The goal is to raise my rank. What a noble and priceless objective!
When I was just in Master and Grandmaster rank, I so wanted to reach the Epic level. It took me a month, during vacation to be exact, to finally reach the Epic rank. So what? Did my life got any better because I achieved that rank? The answer is no, but there is a big YES. It brought happiness when the game is played moderately. It connects people of all ages. It is fun, fulfilling, and satisfying game. It develops relationship, even fellowship if played in moderation.
Playing ML can be quite frustrating, especially for a beginner. There is a lot to learn about heroes, skills, builds, skins, and more and more. It was overwhelming at first and confusing as well, but if you have a good group of friends who are willing to teach you and patiently explain the essential details, then everything is a lot easier and a lot better. But do expect some harsh words in the game, as much as there is good vibes, there is also some bad vibes. It's either they get on your nerves or you get on their nerves, either way play it nice. Never give a remark that is below the belt, that is not fair and never pleasant. Play it nice, always.
Up until now, I want to raise my rank. Next goal is Legend and it is difficult. I persist on playing the game, and maybe next vacation, I will be able to make it on Legend rank. That's the spirit!
So far, I am enjoying the game. It brings good vibes from time to time in a once boring atmosphere. It is fun. So much fun, but again can be frustrating sometimes due to lose streak or an encounter of negative player during the in-game. Just be mindful and careful. Play and slay!
What do I pray for?
I pray for him. I pray and pray. Why do You never listen? You heard them, all my prayers, but Your response is silence.
Only love can hurt like this. The song keeps playing in my head. Only love can hurt like this. There is a pain every time and sometimes I wish I no longer feel my heart breaking, it is tearing apart.
At night, when I am on my bed, waiting for sleep to visit, there are times I always end up crying. Tears flow like a river down my cheeks, asking You why I always end up like this whenever I like or I am praying for someone.
Your grace is enough. This song never fails. Your grace is enough for me. This song speaks the truth. But why am I still yearning for him? Why do I feel this wanting and desire for him?
What do I pray for?
I pray that my desire for him to end and completely vanish because it only hurt me at the end of the day. I am happy when he pays attention to me. I am delighted when he replies to my message. I am on cloud nine when he appreciates me. I want all of him, but I know that it is impossible. He is not mine, to begin with. I pray that he will choose me, and pursue me, despite my weaknesses and flaws and shortcomings and all. I want him to want me like I want him.
He never told me his intention. I form a conclusion based on his random or maybe intentional action. We're a mess, going circles, round and round. Left and right, I don't know where to go. Should I stop and forget about him? Never look back, start moving forward once again in this journey where I keep on coming back and forth. I am stuck. It's a cycle, a loop, a paradox.
What do I pray for?
I pray why do You let this happen to me, falling again and again, and now for him. I know there is a purpose for this experience, but what is it? I want to know. I need to know. Now. Do I sound demanding? Oh, Lord, You know how much I pray for someone like him. I am aware of the uncertainty and I fear it. But the assurance that You are always there surpasses all the doubts I have in my mind and heart. I know You're in control, sovereign, almighty, and all. You are the end and the beginning. You're my God, my Lord, and Saviour.
Still, right now, I pray for him, his safety, good health, happiness, and all the best for his being. I want him to be joyful and rejoice in Your presence.
I pray for him.
Does he pray for me too?
I wonder.
And tonight, I am not crying. He made my night.
TYL. Again and again, I surrender.
When is the end season?
Oh how much, I look forward to that end season. The end of the waiting season. On these particular days of my life, I am, again, tired and sad and lonely and lost. It feels like I lost connection to someone important.
And right now I feel so not enough. I feel lacking and longing again.
There was this person who appeared in my life after many years. And all of a sudden I thought maybe he was the one sent by God. He brought hope and happy moments. I was genuinely happy during those spared times he spent with me.
He was on and off. He was active but never present. He was reacting but never communicating.
He was just there when it was convenient for him.
I knew there was something wrong. It was weird and I almost fell into the trap, once again.
I thought this kind of longing already disappeared and permanently vanished in my system, but it was there, that familiar feeling of wanting and impatience emerged once again and I felt ashamed.
I thought it was okay for me to stay single and alone but never lonely. I thought I was fine. I was joyful in the presence of God. I was rejoicing in good and bad times.
Then he appeared and brought doubt and pain.
I should not blame him. It was not his fault entirely. We played games where there are winners and losers.
The game was fun and all but losing was painful.
There were nights that I cried while asking God why I was never pursued especially by the one I liked. It had always been a one-sided thing. I even questioned my worth and forgot my identity in Christ. I asked Him if He intended me to be alone and lonely all the days of my life here on earth.
I doubted again and was guilty. This is not how I should be as a Christian. This is not me in Christ.
"Bruised but not broken," I remember my D-Group leader telling me this. This time maybe I am not broken, only bruised. All thanks to God's divine protection and preemptive action. I am saved always.
Another friend of mine said once again a wonderful reminder, "Being Christians doesn't mean we are always happy, there will be times when we will be disappointed and defeated, but what's important is we never let go of God's faithfulness and promises."
Life is tough and the life of a Christian is impossible. But God's grace is available to us through Jesus Christ and He will sustain us. It is not an easy road so don't ever let go of the eternal source of our strength and wisdom. Kapit lang kahit masheket friend, di rin Siya bibitaw, kaya connect agad kay God, always.
For still the vision awaits its appointed time;it hastens to the end—it will not lie.If it seems slow, wait for it;it will surely come; it will not delay.
After many years, we finally had a visit to our relatives in Nueva Ecija. As far as I remembered, ever since I started working as a teacher we never visited the place as a family. It might have been 11 years since my last visit. It appeared that we had an extra budget this year so visiting the province was made possible. Praise God! <3 It would be nice to do this every year, I thought.
We stayed at our relatives' house for 3 days and 2 nights. We were provided with delicious and native food during our stay. Adobong manok, ginataang manok, tinumis and binagoongang karne were my favorites. The meat was all fresh from the pen, we ate native chickens! There was quite a difference in the taste compared to the 45-day chicken we usually bought at the market in a city. Native chicken meat absorbs flavors better and richer.
I also missed the espasol my sister and I used to eat whenever we went to Nueva Ecija during school vacation when we were just kids. I was delighted when my father bought a tub of espasol and kalamay. Espasol is the best, not too sweet, just perfect, and the texture is chewy not too soft or hard, just perfect as well. Perfect score for the superb espasol!
We also had a chance to drop by at Farm Villaronte at San Antonio, Nueva Ecija. The place reminded me of the Sirao Flower Garden of Cebu. There was an entrance fee of 50 pesos per person. We were supposed to visit the ancestral houses at Gapan City, the newest and latest attraction in town, but that did not happen because we were always sleepy early at night and I preferred to sleep. haha We will and should visit it next time.
There were different kinds of flowers but Zinnia got me the most. They were everywhere even our relatives had those flowers in their backyard. I wanted to ask my father to bring at least one plant of daisies, but we were pretty cramped up in the vehicle so I decided not to push through with my wants. Maybe next time. I must say that Farm Villaonte is a nice venue for a prenup, hehe, a good recommendation for those who plan to get married and have something like a prenup photoshoot.
Beauty and wit are noticeable concepts at Farm Villaronte, perfect for people who are fond of posting Instagrammable pictures. We felt like we traveled to some famous places in the world, and encountered replicas of a few iconic and historical items. There were also some funny memes in the area, haha, one is a swing for the singles which I didn't even attempt to sit on. haha
Lovely Zinnias <3 I am in love with God's creation, bless your eyes with these picturesque photos of flower power! haha To be honest, I thought they were Daisies and I was wrong. They are actually Zinnias, thanks to Bixby Vision I double-checked the name of the flower before publishing this blog entry. haha
Paying a visit to our relatives in the province was a bit nerve-wracking on our part except for my father. The last time we went there was a misunderstanding among adults. Time healed everyone and God's timing made it all possible. My father so wanted to come and see his brothers and sisters and cousins and friends. He was excited and couldn't hide it, just how the song said it. He missed them and the home he used to live in. It was just sad that a cousin of ours passed away during this festive season that urged us to push through going to Nueva Ecija. All went well for good by God's grace, and we ate the best ulam during our short stay.
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
Sunset signals the end of the day. It is breathtaking scenery when the sun bids goodbye to the naked eye of every human being. The sun seems to never get tired of showing up in the morning and bidding goodbye in the afternoon. Is it contented with what it does every single day? Does it ever get bored with its routine?
The sun only rises and sets.
Some people may have wanted to say goodbye permanently, unlike the sun who keeps on showing up to everyone every morning. These people want to permanently stop showing up to people who may have cared for them or not.
No one, not even a single human being, asks the sun to rise and set. It is just simply doing its purpose that is embedded in the deepest part of its core. It knows its purpose and it does what needs to be done.
The sun does not care about the complaints of human beings when it is too hot or too bright as long as it does its job. It focuses on its work and emits the light that is delivered to planet earth for the living things. It is doing exactly what it is made to do.
There might be less drama if humans work their purpose the way the sun does. Rise. Set. But it is fact that a human being is a very complex kind of creature. The human race is a complicated being.
It cannot be denied that they are made in the perfect image of the Creator, the masterpiece of His powerful and wonderful hands. He spoke life and the first human was created. He saw the sadness in the human so He gave him a partner. The first human, Adam, is in charge of everything that was created on earth before him. The Creator may have also witnessed tiredness on his face that is why He created a co-steward for all His creations. The second human, Eve, is a partner to co-manage all of the things entrusted to them.
The complexity inflated when the monumental and wretched encounter occurred in the garden of Eden. A great separation complicates the situation, specifically the relationship, connection, and fellowship humans have with the Creator. The purpose got blurry and confusion was engraved in every human heart. Human's will versus God's will has been going on since immemorial time. The birth of sinful human nature brought destruction to the alignment of will between the Creator and creation.
The existence of a relationship in the face of the earth began between the first human and God. Though the relationship is currently severed which is a big problem for everyone, He extended His grace and gave everyone the only solution, the only One: the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6).
Patch up things with God only through Jesus! Find the purpose in Him.
“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.
He owns everything. Not a single thing is our own. We are merely stewards of God's creation. We are to serve Him. Even the life we have is His, and He wants us to make the most out of it. Our beloved family here on earth is also from Him. He owns them.
My father had shown his support to my mother during those moments of weakness. I knew so well that he was not like that in the past. He did change and it was a very long process. He cooked for us because my mother couldn't, using our tricycle he was the runner, and sometimes he was the dishwasher when it was not my turn. We were able to keep it together all by God's grace. And what he is now is only possible through God's power. I could not help but share this with you and praise Him with all my heart. We are very far from being a perfect family, and I doubt there is such a thing as a perfect family since a family is composed of imperfect human beings, but I grew to appreciate the kind of family I have. God gave them to me and they are exactly who I need in living a purposeful life here on earth.
Before I forgot to mention, my sister also helped in doing some laundry, and overcoming those seemingly unending weeks of struggle was a challenge for all of us.
I realized a lot of things in life during those times of trouble and I resolved to be a better daughter to my parents, to enjoy my time with them and serve, care, and love them the best I can through Him who strengthens me. I am still not the perfect daughter, but I am glad that God put a desire in my heart to honor and respect my parents in His perfect ways. I am also reminded that in times of trouble we can still remain hopeful, the true hope that is only found in Jesus Christ.
Made with Canva |
I wondered why God does not yet answer my prayers. I was questioning His silence. A conviction to ask the fellow believers with me weighed on me. I was hesitant to share my struggles with my sisters in Christ I thought I would be a burden to them and I did want that. My pride and hate held me back, and God does not want a proud and hateful child. He wants us to be loving, humble, and dependent on Him. He knows how far we can endure.
When she could not take it any longer, my mother asked and insisted we bring her to a doctor for a check-up since over-the-counter medicines were not helping her to ease her suffering. We went to different doctors, but it was already late in the afternoon, and it seemed like no one was willing to take in a patient who have symptoms similar to my mother suffered with. We were frustrated and filled with uncertainties. A hospital has only the capacity to entertain patients with CoVid symptoms.
My mother was swabbed test and we waited a few minutes for the result outside the hospital. We were not allowed to enter and we also did not want to. We were feeling agitated and my hate towards my sister grew bigger. I was browsing my social media account just to have a little diversion from the predicament we were all facing when I came across one of my sister's shared posts on one of her social media accounts about something funny. I was furious that she did not even care that's why I reacted with an angry emoticon on her posts. I knew it was childish but I had to vent out my disappointment towards her. But I retracted the angry emoticon later on when I surrendered the anger and disappointment.
The result was negative. Praise God! I thanked and prayed to Him. She was also advised to be x-rayed and the film showed that she had phlegms in her lungs which was still alarming. The doctor prescribed her some medicines for her fever and dry cough.
On the second day of taking her medicine, my mother was dissatisfied with the effect of the medicines. She still had difficulty with her coughing and felt like she could not breathe properly. She borrowed a nebulizer from her sister who was also my aunt and thanks to God, my very own sister assisted our mother in operating the nebulizer.
But my mother was far from being okay after the check-up and taking all those medicines. She did not feel any better. I was sad and hope seemed to be losing my grip. I held on to the promises of God.
During one of our DGroup meetings and of the days of the online True Life Retreat 2021, I had the opportunity to tell my predicament in a conversation/Bible study with fellow believers. They were compassionate and very willing to pray with me as my family went through health problems at the time of the pandemic. I was humbled and grateful for God's answer when He said 'yes to all of our prayers.
To be continued...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)